Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Teenage years

When I turned 12 I was endowed with a special power from God.  It was called "the Priesthood".  The priesthood power was explained to me to be the authority to act in God's name.  It wasn't to be taken lightly either.  One of the coolest things I thought I could do, was the ability to cast out evil spirits.  I was taught that with my authority, I could raise my hand to the square and command the ghost or demon, in the name of Jesus Christ, to go back from whence they came.  Oh yeah, I was a bad ass.  Of course I never got the opportunity to use this super cool power of mine, but that didn't stop me from thinking myself better than the commoner.

I had the Aaronic Priesthood, and I was on my way to becoming a God.  One day I would use the same priesthood power to command the elements to form worlds of my own.  For what it's worth, it was a pretty awesome feeling to command such a power.  It certainly didn't help me in school.  For some reason, I couldn't rely on God's power to just get the answers right.  I still had to apply myself!  WTF right?  So, I was a 12 year old with the power of God at my finger tips, but nothing to use it on.  Well, not nothing I guess..

One of the main responsibilities as a 12 year old priesthood holder was to administer the sacrament during sacrament meeting.  The sacrament consisted of pieces of bread broken up into little nuggets, and handed out to the congregation to eat.  It represented the body of Christ.  Also, there were small plastic shot cups filled with water to also be passed out, which represented the blood of Christ.  Only a super awesome priesthood holder such as myself could manage such a responsibly.  If you were female, then you just could not do this task, because apparently God only trusts men with this one.

So, each Sunday I would take my place at the sacrament preparation table and pass out these sweet treats.  What can I say, I was a stud.  Other than the hopes of an occasional evil spirit to be cast out, this was pretty much the limits of my God powers until I would turn 16.

I feel this is just another one of the tactics that cause members of the mormon church to stick with it, to think themselves superior than the rest.  At least this feels like the case for men in the church.  Seemingly ordinary men with simple jobs and simple lives are nothing special in the real world.  But, put on a nice suit and act with God's authority on Sunday at church, and all of a sudden you're a big deal.  I certainly found myself thinking quite highly of my position as if it were something to behold, if the outside world only knew who they were in company of that is.  In this way though, the mormon church is able to retain its membership because these men have nothing else going for them, and as such, they hang on to this feeling of importance because without it they'd have to accept the fact they are no better than their neighbor.  Don't we all want to be better than our neighbor?

There was a caveat with having this priesthood power.  I had to maintain worthiness to use it, and this would become exceptionally more difficult once I found out I could self gratify myself.  God is always watching us they say, and one of the things that was harped on the most as a young teenager in the mormon church was masturbation.  It seemed as though every priesthood session of General Conference had at least one speaker to hammer into the youth the importance of not masturbating.

By the way, General Conference is a bi-annual meeting of the church in which the leaders of the faith convene together to instruct it's members.  This meeting is televised throughout the world to all mormons worldwide.  The priesthood session of this special meeting is exclusive to the males only.

By withstanding my urges to do what is biologically natural, I was blessed with the power to play God... now if only there were some evil spirits to be cast out.  I know I've mentioned casting out spirits a few times here, but it was pretty much the potential highlight of my youth.

I continued to grow in the church and my responsibilities became more and more.  I was to be respected as a priesthood holder.  Much was also expected of me.  I went to my meetings, read my holy books, said my prayers and recited my testimony, sometimes by pressure.  I kept up appearances, and did what my parents told me was right.  This was my life, I was a mormon, and I knew the truth.

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